Haunted by an Adversary
by 9thForever
Summary: The Doctor dwelled on that moment, the one where Rose hadn't made it past the doorway quick enough.


Haunted by an Adversary

The Doctor had been angry with himself for quite some time, still not over the thought of losing Rose to the god awful Dalek, in Utah. Was it the Daleks fault? It had every opportunity to destroy Rose in an instant, yet it hadn't. The Doctor had the same, with the Dalek, however he'd been taken away by the guards, under the order of an ass. If Van Statten had had any bit of knowledge in his puny brain he would have killed the creature that rest wounded in the cage, waiting to strike, in an instant. But no, he hadn't. The Doctor dwelled on that moment, the one where Rose hadn't made it past the doorway quick enough. The heart shattering noise of the Dalek's weapon discharging towards Rose to kill her. His heart stopped beating, even at the memory. Pain struck every chord in his soul, even though the blonde was still alive. Rose was more than a blonde to him, more than just an average girl working in the shops. Without trying or knowing, Rose had made the Doctor evolve. It was a slow fade, one he didn't notice, much like the feelings he had developed for her. Oh, if he hadn't known that he had any, he did now, when he thought she had died.

A tear fell from his eyes as he shook the memory away, trying to forget it.

His arms were around her, and she was safe, alive and away from the creature that had destroyed his hearts for an instant. He promised himself that would never happen again, him risking Rose's life. That was a cost he couldn't pay, ever. The guilt and grief of her almost dying was already eating away at him, digging loads of stress which heaped on his shoulders. It felt like carrying the weight of the world, only every world.

"Y'alright?" A soft voice startled him out of the memory, her voice, Rose's. with a sigh of relief he spoke out, a timid smile forcing it's way out.

"Tired, I suppose. Guess I should head t'bed, yeah?" He wondered, for a moment, how long Rose had been watching him because he couldn't recall the moment of when she entered the room.

"You could walk me to my room, then." Rose suggested in a quiet manner.

"I could." The smile that was abroad the Doctor's face only broadened.

"Oi, c'mon now. Please?" Whenever Rose used a soft tone like such it seemed to defeat any snide-full comments that he could possibly muster into existence. With a nod, he stood, hand extending out from the sleeve of his worn leather jacket.

"Alright then."

The walk to her room was deafeningly silent, although the sounds of his boots hitting the cool metal floor echoed with every step, he'd yet to hear a sound, not even his breathing. His mind was in a haze, however, being haunted by that painful day. Just the thought had his chest cringing with pain.

The Doctor wasn't always this quiet, Rose thought, usually she couldn't get him to keep quiet for a second, which she didn't mind too much, or at all. The Doctor had plenty to say, all of which Rose's ears soaked in every word from his northern accent. He sounded magnificent, mesmerizing to her, and frankly she wished he wouldn't ever stop talking. But tonight, he hadn't said a word since leaving the main room of the Tardis. There wasn't anything she could say, or nearly enough time, because they'd reached her room.

As the Doctor loosened his hand to let go and head down the corridor towards his own room, Rose stopped him by thrusting her arms around his waist. She couldn't exactly reach his neck, but if she could have, she would. Without knowing the words to comfort whatever was gnawing away at his brain, Rose hoped her actions would speak for her. The hug was long, and awkward because he hadn't reacted anytime soon after it had started. Rose was determined not to pull away without a reaction from him, but she wasn't getting one. Just as she was about to let go, he raised his arms around her petite frame in comparison to his and held her tightly. Words didn't need to be said, she could just feel that he knew what she was trying to do. Nevertheless, the Doctor let go after the minute slowly struck past, and turned towards the darkness, heading off to his room without a word. Sighing defeatedly, Rose entered her room, the door shutting behind her as she readied herself for bed.

The Doctor eventually made his way to his room, the thoughts of losing Rose still eminent over his thoughts, lingering. Why wouldn't they leave? Was he always going to dwell on such a painful memory?

Sleep didn't come easy, or at all for the Doctor, his mind out weighing the urge to sleep. It was actually stressing his body, rather than resting and regaining energy. Sitting up, the Doctor stared into the void darkness he called a room. Everything felt empty, like there was nothing left. His legs dropped from the bed, hanging off the edge. The floor was just out of his reach, but he wasn't trying to catch it. He pressed his bare feet to the cold wood, standing and facing the door. The Doctor knew his room from memory, and didn't need the light to make his way around without walking into anything.

Hopefully he could walk off the strange feeling that was lingering over his aura, weighing him down, that always seemed to clear his head. He could also check on Rose, ease that burning feeling that something was wrong with her even when he knew otherwise.

Opening her eyes, Rose heard a noise in her room. It didn't startle her, but it drew her attention. Maybe it was the noise, or the feeling like something was wrong, either way, she was awake. Without moving, Rose blinked repeatedly to wake her eyes, to have them adjust to the darkness. She was able to see, but only faintly from the lights in the corridor, from under her door. When her eyes searched her room, it was significantly lighter than most nights, which set a nervous wave over her body. Distinctively in her memory, Rose had closed the door. Why was it open? Only the Doctor and Rose were aboard the Tardis, so she thought. That's what she had been led to believe. The Doctor wouldn't lie about that, would he? Could it be an intruder? Panic quaked through Rose's blood, her heart pounding louder and harder through her entire body. Somehow through her nervousness, Rose's mouth opened, and voice filled the room.

"You weren't able to sleep?"

The Doctor's head raised. He had been sitting besides the door, listening to her sleep. How did he not notice she had woken? His breathing stopped, and he nodded before realizing Rose probably couldn't see him.

"No," His voice was barely a whisper, trying to hide the worry in his voice, "had a nightmare and came to check on you." Rose shuffled on her bed, turning to look at the voice coming from her room. Eyebrows knitted together out of confusion, mainly because she was still waking.

"Nightmare?" For a moment all Rose could hear was her own breathing as she watched the shadow that was the Doctor's figure slumped against the door. He didn't move or breath, much like a stone statue. "Do you want to talk about it?" After many more moments had passed, the Doctor murmured a quiet no, turning to leave, he began shutting the door.

"Wait!" Rose called after him, heart pounding into her throat. The Doctor was clearly upset, shaken by something that troubled his mind, it showed earlier, before they had gone to their bedrooms.

"You need your rest, I was only ch—"

"—Please stay." Rose had sat up in an instant, inching towards pulling the blankets off to stop him from leaving. The Doctor's fingers twitched and twisted on the handle, waiting for the command from his mind to travel downwards to his hand to either continue or stop what he was doing. The latter one and he let go, his stance remaining in the doorframe, however.

"Just till you fall asleep."

Rose settled back into her bed, mind drifting here and there as she watched as the Doctor stood entirely still. She wondered how he could do that at times, but never when they seemed to need to be entirely quiet and still, yet here he was, defying how he normally would be- in more ways than one. Any other night and the Doctor wouldn't be standing in her door, staring at her. Minutes passed and Rose had yet to fall asleep.

"Doctor?" Eventually she broke the silent stares, drawing his eyes to her lips.

"Yes?"

"I don't think I can sleep with you just standing there. It makes me feel bad."

"Bad?" One of his eyebrows raised. Making Rose feel bad was the last thing he wanted to do to her. "What would you rather I do?"

"Sit down at least." She murmured as she sat up in her bed, blankets drawn around her frame. With a pull of her arm, Rose moved the blankets back, making room besides her. It was clear she was indicating that she wanted him to sit besides her on the bed. Her slender arm beckoned for him until the Doctor began to move, sitting on the bed bedsides her. Rose lay herself back in the bed, on her stomach, head turned to face the Doctor whom had a solid stare fixed upon her.

"Y'going to tell me about your dream yet?" There was no point in him not answering her, Rose was being persistent about it. With a stubborn sigh the Doctor sounded as if he was about to begin.

"Do I have to?"

"Yes."

There was another sigh as he settled into the bed, turned onto his side to face her, inches away from each other.

"Well.. It was about Utah, in the vault."

"When we came across the Dalek?"

"Yeah." The Doctor nodded slowly, already losing the desire to speak. "It was about you. The Dalek had killed you, and I didn't make it in time to save you." Tears welled in his eyes, ready to fall but not quite yet.

"It was just a dream though, Doctor.." Rose spoke softy, not wanting to upset him anymore than he already was.

"No. It didn't feel that way. I couldn't feel you, Rose."

Rose furrowed her eyebrows, confused as to what he meant. Feel a dream?

"What do you mean?"

"It felt like nothing. Like you weren't alive, nothing was alive. I was alone, with the weight of everything else closing in on me. Not a connection to the world." There was a moment of silence between them before Rose reached out to his face, pressing a cool palm to his cheek.

"Y'can feel this though, can't you?" Rose understood what he meant, to an extent. The feeling of being alone. It took her a few years to reconnect with her mum after her dad had died. He fell to her touch, the way her fingers trickled through the faint stubble across his cheek, but it wasn't like before, when he actually did feel her. Rose's hand was shy, but kept itself against him without backing or pulling away.

"It's still so empty.." That was the last bit of holding back his eyes could manage. The tears overflowed from his eyes, dripping to the sheet beneath him. Thankfully Rose's hand was lower, so she didn't feel them against her hand, but she knew that he was. Rose shifted closer to the Doctor until there was no room between them. Her chest pressed against his, arm wedging itself underneath hi large frame as she held him. The Doctor appreciated Rose's gesture more than he would admit to himself, but right now his pride and ego didn't matter to him. His arm fell around her body, keeping her there. Breaths were shared in their close proximity, but only that. Rose listened quietly, knowing he was crying, trying to comfort and ease any pain he was in. Their bodies tangled in the legs because of Rose. Each time the Doctor thought Rose was falling asleep, she would move, nuzzling in closer towards him, the palms of her hands clutched against his back, much like his were to hers.

"Does this help?" Her head was against his chest, the sounds of his heart beneath her ear.

"Yes.."

"Will you stay then, for the night?" The Doctor shifted. Had Rose's question offended him, or made him uncomfortable? Those weren't her intentions, she wouldn't want to forcing into laying in her bed all night, but she wasn't going to let go.

"Yeah." Once more he shifted, settling into her arms. There was an awkward atmosphere between them before they both fell asleep in the oncoming hours, in each others arms.

The nightmares returned, worse this time. The shouts that a Dalek would make echoing in his mind, tormenting the Doctor until he awoke, sweat soaking through his jumper. Rose was still laying in his arms, however she was facing the other way, her back against his chest, not phased by him. He couldn't stand the heat he was in, if the Doctor moved slowly enough he would be able to slip off his jumper without waking Rose. He tried shifting her out of his arms, pulling himself away. Rose instantly responded with a groan, trying to wedge herself back against him but the more she did the further he went. A hand was pressed to her back to stop her, but it woke her instead. A small yawn sounded from Rose before she turned around to face the Doctor to find out what was happening.

"What's wrong?"

The Doctor sat up when Rose woke, his jumper flying off his body, the blankets moved too. He tossed it to the ground before the panic started to leave him, the anxiety slowly if at all, drifting away.

"Overheated, just go back to sleep."

The Doctor never spoke to Rose that way, so something bothered her, something telling her to not drop it and do as he said.

"Was it another dream?" The Doctor was acting strange enough that had Rose partially stunned. Up until this point in their friendship, Rose had never seen him shirtless, and although the room was already darkened, her eyes had adjusted to the lack of lights, she found him gorgeous. With a bit of a grunt, the Doctor answered Rose while wiping his face onto his jumper.

"Yes. Same one. It's over now, so just rest." The Doctor dismissed her to avoid any awkwardness, although he was only adding fuel to the fire.

"I'm not going to rest until you *know* I'm here, Doctor. What is it going to take?"

"Rose, I know you're here–"

"I-I can't stand you like this, hurting.. Doctor.." Rose's voice had escalated, but quickly dropped to a whisper. ".. Seeing you hurt, it's hurting me too. I want you safe, whole. Knowing you're loved."

The Doctor already knew what Rose was trying to express to him, but something in him didn't click with it. The words were words that he wanted to hear- needed to hear. Rose always knew what to say, when to say. There was a stare between them, patients laying wake to his response. Neither had moved in moments, both waiting for the other. As the Doctor's mouth opened, a single syllable was voiced, but disappeared as Rose was pent-up from waiting. Her lips crashed onto his, not roughly just quickly. It was a pleasant kiss, one the Doctor didn't pull back from. Rose's hands placed themselves on each shoulder of his, until she was sitting in front of him, trying her hardest not to break the kiss. He needed to know how she felt about him, seeing him in such a state was devastating and breaking her heart.

"Please tell me you can feel this.." Her lips never left his, the words melting against him. The Doctor's lips responded by pressing tender, long kisses back to hers, his hands moved from his sides to her waist, slowly shuffling her closer to him.

Minutes of many kisses later, the Doctor mumbled a yes, but that didn't stop Rose or him, a desire for the other person had taken over by then. The Doctor's hands delved under the hem of her vest, across her stomach, yet not pushing her limits too far. Her heart started pounding faster at the new contact but she wasn't satisfied enough, she wanted more. He wanted more, without a doubt. Rose unhooked her arms from around his neck to pull back; she sat astride on his thighs, her hands pressing to the back of his, trying to encourage them up. When had she became so bold?

Heat arose in the Doctor's cheeks as he did what she was requesting without saying, his hands moving to cup and hold her breasts. The calloused palms kneaded each lump for a moment, weighing out each breast to feel the size in comparison to his hands. Her body felt remarkable, so perfect. His thumbs trapped her perked nipples, pinching them until they became as hard as they would. Rose gasped, teeth clenching on a bruised lower lip, her hips jerking forward only slightly. When hers did, his did, lifting off the bed to seek out friction. Heat swelled to the pit of both of their bodies, boiling the already need and desire for each other more.

He'd pinch her nipples a certain way, each time she would moan a sensual noise that he found beauty in. Of course he was committing the motion to memory, so he would be able to please her every time. Rose slid her hands from his wrists (where they had settled) up past his hands where they latched onto her vest and began lifting the material off.

The Doctor turned Rose off of him, so she was laying in the center of the bed, pillows under her already arching back. Lips reconnected, ravishing one another as he nestled between her legs. Rose caught his neck with her arms, although she couldn't hold onto anything for much longer, with the way she could already feel an orgasm slipping up on her. His teeth caught her lower lip, tugging, sucking, licking, to stimulate more of her nerves. A shudder poured itself over Rose's torso when his hands were back to her breasts, she had climaxed just to his touch, a moan filling the room, passing her lips to his. To give her lips a moment to breath and recover, the Doctor lowered his mouth from hers, placing kisses along her neck. Her pulse was rapidly pushing past under his lips, the gentle bites and sucking he was providing to intentionally speed it. Her breathing would catch every time he rolled his hips, bucking his body into hers.

The coloured skin was soft under his tongue, painting circles around her nipple until it hardened again. That was a feeling his tongue couldn't get used to, one he didn't want to. He'd suck softly, only to ease any pain that would occur from his teeth. The Doctor was dedicated with his mouth, making it unbearable for Rose. Her fingernails marked their way through his hair, which was taken as great encouragement (her moaning helping that). He only pulled away for a moment before latching his lips to her other nipple and proceeding to pay the same detail to it. Rose felt her head go light from all of his touches, but she couldn't stop him, she wanted more of them. More of him. Reluctantly her hand left his hair and pressed to his shoulder, feeling the tenseness of his muscle. He had huge muscles, such toned and refined ones, why had she only just noticed? But his touch was so gentle, it made her wonder if he was holding back. His chest was sculpted even better than his arms, each abdominal muscle was defined and solid. Rose wished she could have seen what they looked like, but she knew they would be the most attractive things besides his face. Why did he keep all of this hidden away under his jumper?

Her hand caught itself around the edge of his jeans, on his hip, then his other. She only stopped because one of his had joined with hers, guiding it back to the zip. It didn't take long, the removal of his jeans, although he turned to his side to take them off his feet, Rose didn't mind the wait too much, it gave her time to catch her breath from it's embarrassing rate. When he turned back to lay atop her, their mouths met again, his tongue searching hers out. The kiss wasn't rough, but rather passionate, a romantic one. It left Rose with weakened knees, and a tremble in her stomach. His hands on both of her hips didn't help, how the thumbs would draw patterns, or trace her bones. His fingers were so skillful, but she barely felt them because he would ghost them along her skin, back and forth in a dragging motion.

The more Rose lifted her hips, the more he would shift off of her. He'd give her the friction she needed, but not yet. The Doctor lifted her arms around his chest as his fingers trailed up her body, leaving burns underneath as they lift to her cheeks, the tips of his fingers grazing into her blonde hairline before their lips were inseparable once again. Rose loved the intimacy he was sharing, the way he would touch her body and make it feel more alive than ever before. She gripped him tightly, holding his torso against hers. Inadvertently, Rose's hips jolted around on him, trying to settle herself, but couldn't once she realized what she had done. The Doctor's hips began doing the same until he was grinding an erection clear into her sex, through their clothes. He growled and moaned into the kiss, only making Rose respond by doing it repeatedly until he pulled back. The Doctor couldn't get enough air in his lungs fast enough. But then again Rose wouldn't let him. He'd teased her long enough and now Rose had had it. With a partial smirk on her lips, she kept kissing his lips, lazily, only getting the corner, but it was enough to occupy his mind from anything else as her hand left his back, to glide her fingertips across his chest, dragging the nails only faintly enough to stir his arousal again.

"I need to feel you now, Doctor.." Rose murmured quietly, almost ashamed of the words as she said them. He nodded, with a smile, helping to guide her hands lower until on his boxers. She tugged them downwards, as he lift his hips from the bed to help. Heat arose in her face and her sex, she knew the Doctor was naked, laying besides her, aroused and waiting. His touch ignited her, as he sat up and gave her knickers a pull. It wasn't hard, he had them off gently and fast, leaving her just as naked as he was.

"Okay," The Doctor had Rose laying on her back once again, hair sprawled over the pillows, looking as beautiful as ever in the darkness, in her skin, naked, bare and vulnerable. The sound of her hitched breathing and heartbeat echoed the room, or at least his ears, as he knelt on the bed, legs between hers, his hands were resting on the apex of her thighs, guiding them further open between his legs. In one motion he had lifted each leg around his waist, but not letting Rose tighten them. Panic, fear, regret- none of that came to his head, because they both knew this needed to happen.

The bed creaked quietly, the blankets and sheets rustling underneath. He led the tip of his member to her slit, his thumb clipping her clitoris as he positioned his body against hers. First the tip sunk in, then slowly by slowly, the rest of his member entered past her sacred doors. His hands dipped to the small of her back, lifting until she had enveloped all of his girth. This was the first time Rose felt him, all of him, inside of her. She whimpered and shook as he filled her body, with completion, not pain or any other emotion and feeling (besides pleasure). Rose's body clenched around the foreignness of the Doctor, welcoming it. His hands lowered her back to the bed, his body slipping partially out. The Doctor had Rose's pleasure coating his body already, but he wanted to be sure that he had enough of her juices on him before moving too suddenly. As his hips arced backwards, Rose inhaled sharply, her hands pressed to his chest, somewhat trying to pull him down, to be closer. The air from the room felt cold against his skin, cooling down the heat he had acquired from being inside Rose's body. He couldn't take not being inside of her, having their bodies become one, so he rolled his hips, sending his member in once more.

Rose managed to pull the Doctor down, to lay over her; their breathing against one another's cheeks each time he would push himself in to the limit. Rose's walls stretched for him, gripping him when he was inside, however.

As his thrusts grew, her moans and whimpers grew. Lips connected loosely, words escaping into the night. Words of praise, encouragement, arousal. Rose couldn't contain her tongue, the Doctor wouldn't want her to. He wanted to hear the voice of the angel he was making love with. His angel.

The Doctor slid his hands from under her back, fists clenching around sheets as his body was overwhelmed with passion. He had yet to release, although felt and hear multiple orgasms from Rose. She only encouraged him to keep going. His back, shoulders were covered in small marks of her fingers, each time she couldn't contain herself anymore. They stung, because of the sweat on his body. His thrusts into her were smooth, but fast, fluent. Breathing coming to a halt as his release claimed him unexpectedly, spewing into Rose with a groan. Her body clamped around his, shuddering as every last drop of his liquid left him and joined her. Rose held him still, tightly, incase he were to pull out, but he had no intentions to. The Doctor was going to savour every last second of their bodies being intimately intertwined. Her heart pounded against his chest, nearly leaping from hers as she lay under him, his weight resting on her. Minutes passed before finally he moved to lay besides Rose, her eyes already drifting, muscles relaxing their grip on him. He lift the blanket over themselves, Rose scooting closer until her leg hooked over his, foot hanging loosely on his leg as she dragged it up and down for a few seconds as she got situated into his arms.

Rose awoke to possessive arms around her, without a doubt Rose knew it was the Doctor, that he was still in her bed. Last night wasn't just an illusion. She stretched, carefully not to wake him, her toes elongating against his leg. He stirred, only a little, but it made a smile grow across her lips, the corners turning up. Seeing him in a peaceful, innocent state, he was beautiful. As Rose admired him in the dim lights that peaked from her doorway she felt his fingers through her hair, slowly flexing back and forth. She leaned forward, lips pressing to his faintly.

"Did I wake you?" He whispered through a heavy yet dreamy accent.

"No. You?"

"No." She listened to his breathing, eyes closing.

"Did you sleep well? No nightmares?"

"None," his lips pressed to hers, followed by many more lazy kisses. Waking this way could easily become a custom for either of them.

"Doctor?" Rose murmured against his lips, pulling back slightly to look into his blue eyes the best she could in the poor lighting.

"Yeah, every thing alright?"

"It's nothing. Probably nothing.." She frowned, eyebrow creasing together as she shifted back into the close proximity they'd arranged earlier. But that closeness was quickly evaporated by the Doctor. He had sat up on an elbow, a hand on her cheek.

"Tell me," he didn't pose it as a question or a command, but Rose felt it as both.

"Well.. When I woke up, just now.. It was my head. It feels sort of different. Not like a headache, but.."

"But what?"

"I felt you, an' not just in bed holding me." His fingers and thumb began mapping out the soft skin under them, almost as it he were oblivious to what she was saying, but rather he was distracted in all. He could feel every muscle in her face fronting itself with the frown, how tight they were under the calm, tenderness he was leaving.

"Is that a good thing, Doctor?" Rose was almost frustrated with him because he didn't seem to be paying any attention to what she had said.

"We're connected." Rose stared blankly at the man whom was mesmerized by her cheek.

"What do you mean?" Now she was confused by him.

"You and me, we're connected."

"What do you mean?" She repeated herself, expecting more of an explanation.

"It's like a residual effect, only temporary. When a Timelord.." He paused, moving to rest on her neck as he thought about what he was going to say. "When a Timelord makes love, we leave an empathic imprint on one another."

"A psychic link?"

"Yeah, something like that."

"Will it leave?" Rose sounded disappointed in her question, in a way he couldn't read her. Did she not want to feel this intimate with him? To feel his thoughts besides hers and vice versa.

"It fades, in time. The less contact we have with one another the weaker it gets."

"Can you feel me?" Her voice had turned to a soft whisper. He nodded, mouthing "yes" to her. Rose's heart leapt, on a sudden impulse she sat up, her arms around his neck as her lips were on his in a passionate manor. He wouldn't deny Rose a kiss, ever.

"Now?"

"Closer." He spoke without rushing, although he would rather be kissing her than speaking.

"Mm..."

"Would you like to feel the connection at it's strongest?" A coy smile played at his lips, with a hint of nervousness although he was serious. Rose didn't respond by words right away, but rather by pressing her lips to his again, as she moved to lay on top of him.

"Yes."

A smirk grew as the Doctor lift his hand into Rose's hair, tangling his fingers in her blonde locks that still had faint curls from the day before. His tongue slipped past her lips, catching a moan from her. This was just the beginning, the soreness having already left Rose and the Doctor's bodies; when they would be finished neither would have the strength or the energy left to walk.


End file.
